Thursday, 26 May 2016

Moving home? Should I stay or should I go now?

I was doing my makeup this morning when the idea of moving back home to Hungary hit me. If you're new to my blog, let me give you a little background of where I came from and what I've been up to so far in life.

I moved to London on a whim a bit over 3 years ago from my hometown, Budapest. I didn't have a job at the time and my boyfriend broke up with me right before Christmas. I was struggling with one subject at uni that I failed over and over again, and I remember sitting in a Costa with my friend, Lilla, me covered in my microbiology notes, her nose deep in her Spanish language book when she asked me why I don't move with her and our mutual friend to London.

After thinking about it for a couple days, I realised that I have nothing to lose, and it would be better for my broken heart to be far from the person who broke it and and have something new to occupy my mind instead of constantly thinking about what went wrong. I was lucky because I could save enough money with living at home and working full time besides studying, that I could confidently start this adventure without having to worry about running out of money.

On 4th March 2013 we got on the 6am plane waving goodbye to our worried families to start a new life in an unknown city and country. It was a complete restart, with no job, no bank account, no NI number, no local friends and we didn't even have a normal place to stay for the first night. Everything worked out in the end, got the papers we needed to get a job, and I started to work as a cocktail waitress 3 weeks after arriving in a recently opened rooftop bar that turned out to be a really great place for earning money and meeting amazing people. The mean boyfriend who broke my heart before, made me fall in love with him again and moved to London so we could be together. We rent a cute little flat close to the centre now and as strange as it sounds for some, I love cleaning, tidying, cooking and all the housewife-y stuff in general.

So you might ask why I'm thinking about moving home...
Well, I quit my job 6 months ago because I felt burnt out and couldn't imagine myself working in hospitality any longer. I spent Christmas at home, had the best relaxing time not stressing about getting back to work and just enjoying the company of my family and friends. In January I started looking for a job in property which always interested me but soon realised that without a driving licence I could only get in the not so legitimate "companies". So, what could I do? I saw a future in this field, if it's the driving licence only that separates me from this dream, then I need to learn to drive... And so I did. I wrote a post about my experience and tips here if you're interested.
I'm in full job search mode since I got my driving licence and unfortunately I haven't been offered the first job that I applied to. Or the second. Or the third for that matter... But I kept on applying for each trainee position that I saw advertised, went on numerous interviews just to fall on my face over and over again. I knew I would face rejection but I can't help but think that this is fate and I am heading in the wrong direction and all these 'no'-s happened for a reason. Maybe this is not what I'm meant to do...
That's how we got to this morning when in mind I already packed up our flat and wondered how many suitcases it would take to move everything that we bought here and all the things I took from home because obviously I live here, I need my book collection to collect dust on our London shelves... :D

I always thought that the idea of staying or leaving would first come up when I get pregnant and we need to decide where to bring up the baby. While I think having a baby is still years away, moving home might not be.

There are so many pros and cons for both Budapest and London, which makes this decision really hard.

1. One of the biggest pros in moving home would be being close to my family who I only see twice or three times a year. Of course you have Skype and you can call them anytime but it really isn't the same. I see this distance the most before Christmas when I realise that I have no clue what they actually need or want as a present.I have some close friends in London but I have more friends in Budapest and my social life was more active when I lived back home.

2. For the past three years London was my home. I went from living with 3 other people in the same room to living in a one bedroom flat, going out, travelling, buying whatever I wanted and still saving money for the future. I'm not sure I could have done the same working in Budapest.
I became a fully functioning adult here. :D I know if I'd move home I would go back to the family home and my Mom would take care of the washing, the cooking, the cleaning and I would feel like a teenager again. It would be a huge step back personally. I like the independence that I have in London and while this care feels good while on holiday, I wouldn't take it well on a day-to-day basis and would cause unnecessary tension between us.

3. I am having a crisis at the moment professionally, but would that change in Budapest? While in London having Hungarian knowledge means nothing, in Hungary having years of experience in an English speaking country is really impressive. What is not that impressive is that I never finished my studies because of the big move.

4. Continuing from the previous point, if I'd move home, the chance of finishing uni would be higher because of my Mom's constant nagging. :D Same with my German language knowledge that I have neglected the past 3-4 years.

5. I am not single this time and I have no right to make such big decision alone. While I know that my boyfriend isn't the biggest fan of London, he is moving up in his career and if we'd stayed a couple more years, that extra experience would benefit his career greatly. I asked him to move here and now it's his turn, if he wants to stay I wouldn't say no.

6. What would happen with our relationship? It would make sense for me to move back to my family home where I grew up and have plenty of room for all our stuff. While my Mom and boyfriend get along really well, I'm not sure it's the best idea to move under the same roof.

7. Something I hate is the typical Hungarian mentality of moaning and the constant negativity that I feel everywhere when I'm home. It seriously brings me down and is one thing I really don't miss...

8. But I love the hot summers, which are non-existent in London. (Maybe because I didn't experience a super-sweaty summer for so long.) I could finally wear my summer clothes which only come out of storage when we go on a beach holiday.

9. And everything is so cheap compared to London prices! Well that's not a big surprise, is it? Almost everywhere is cheaper than living in London...:D But obviously the wages are much lower too and saving up is not as easy as in London.

10. But if I'd move back to Budapest maybe I could convince my Mom to have a puppy or a kitten! :)

11. This might sound stupid but I would miss Boots and Superdrug soooo much. Being the beauty junkie that I am, browsing in the isles of UK drugstores and swatching makeup is one of my favourite activities. The selection in the Hungarian drugstores is seriously woeful compared to everything that is sold here.

12. What would be the future of this blog? This seriously is the only thing nowadays (other than my bf obviously) that keeps me from getting depressed. Having all the free time after quitting my job resulted in this site, and starting this blog was one of the best decisions I made the past year. If I move back to Hungary what do I do with this blog? I don't want to write in Hungarian but what's the sense writing an English blog about products only available in Hungary?

13. One of the main things keeping me here is that I don't want to end my London adventure on a negative note. I know this living abroad thing doesn't work out for everyone and you can always go back to your home country, but that in my eyes is just giving up and choosing the easiest way. I would feel like a failure if I would leave on such a low.

The problem with having more homes is that wherever you are you constantly miss people and places. My ideal scenario would be if I could go home whenever I wanted to, spend a month in Budapest, come back to London and spend a month here...

Dream on, girl, dream on!

So what do I do now? Have you been in a similar position before? How did you decide where to live?

Pictures used are from Google.

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